Happy 95th Birthday, Grandma!

Today would have been my grandmother's 95th birthday. I have a really hard time talking about her because I get really emotional about her.  In fact, the reason I stopped writing on one of my former blogs was because I was writing about her on her death anniversary and I couldn't get myself to finish so I just stopped blogging altogether.

Before Grandma died, she kept bugging me to have a baby -- nothing would have made her happier --  but I wanted to be married for at least a year to enjoy being a newlywed and transition into married life.  Unfortunately, she died in December of 2010 and I had my first child in August of 2011.

She would have loved being around my children. They would have brought her so much joy and she would have brought so much joy to them.  Every single time I think about what could have been with her and my kids, I feel so heartbroken and I break down in tears. I really wish she would have been able to meet them.

My beautiful Grandma.

Grandma in Maui. She was so happy to touch the waterfall.

Grandma was always a highlight of Christmas.

I was so sad when Grandma died. She meant so much to me.  Even after 6 1/2 years, it still hurts and I feel like that piece of me is missing in my life.  But I find some comfort thinking that she is watching over me and my kids. I see so much of her in them - their infectious laughs, their reactions, and their ability to make friends wherever they go.  I hope that my kids continue to have jolly spirit that she had.

I miss you, Grandma.